ki(t)hought’s

From the semester’s work in the student ministry, I find it much needing for me to breathe in new air and get my soul refreshed of the Lord’s abundant comfort. I traveled to Lobo, Batangas (travel time is 3 ½ to 5 hours).

I set my things and myself on what will I do there. Arranged where to sleep. Got to know how to get there, since its my first time to go there. All was set, I journeyed on.

I arrived from a roller coaster, long winding road trip to the corners of the Cerezo’s home, where I stayed for two days and two nights. After some debriefing and kamustahan from Heather and the family, I went to sleep for the next day I shall have a long day with the Lord. No cellphone. No way to know what time it is. No conversation. Just me and the Lord.

Things to bring: bible, recent QT notebook, last three QT/ journals, pen, pencil, colored pencils, pieces of paper, soul retreat book, bottled water, bananas, pack of biscuits, marshmallow for munches, turtlee, sarong, shades, my heart and my loaded soul.

Heather brought me to the beach, acquainted me to the place, how to get back to their house and where I can stay. She said that the sea is so calm and so much in order. Low tide. The sand is prepared like a carpet, combed, at peace, still. I feel spoiled again as if everything is prepared just for me, to meet my Savior and my God.

A long day at the beach.

hindi ko alam kung papaano. ngunit araw-araw na lamang ako sinusuyo ng Panginoon. hindi ko lubusang maisip kung paano ng Ama inihanda ang tanawin para sa king pamamahinga. kalmadong dagat. patag at maayos na buhangin. tahimik na nagpupuring paligid sa Kanya. ang salit-salitang mga alon. apat hanggang limang huni ng iba’t ibang mga ibon. parada ng kanilang paglipad. ang araw na maganda. berdeng kabundukan. asul na kalangitan. hindi maipinta kung anong ganda. haay. sa’king tunay na pagnanais na makasama ang Siya, ako’y nagagalak din at siya’y nananabik.

nagbalik tanaw sa mga nakaraan. binisita ang mga pangyayari. ang mga naisulat na panalangin. mga naititik na pagsusumamo. mga bumakat na luha. mga kabigatang dinala. mga panghihinayang at tunay na kahinaan. mga sayang namutawi sa labi. mga pangungusap ng Ama na dumampi sa nanghihikahos ko na puso. tunay na Siya ang aking nakita. ang Kanyang kadakilaan at walang hanggang katapatan. kapangyarihan at wagas na pagmamahal. muli Niyang ibinulong sa’king puso ang paglilingkod na nais Niya. bitiwan ang lahat. walang ititira. ang lahat. pumatak ang mga luha at habang isa-isa kong iniwan ang mga bagay na matagal ko nang pinanghahawakan. masakit mawalay sa mga sariling pagnanais, mga pangarap, mga akin. ngunit sa pagnanais kong magpatuloy sa paglilingkod, inanod na ng mga alon at inihip na ng hangin ang akin. wala nang balikan. muli Niya akong pinuno, binigyan at siniksik ng kanyang mga katuruan.

And at the end of the day, I was asked to facilitate a Bible Study in a church member’s home nurturing students. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to share. I also told Heather: Akala ko magpapahinga ako, ano ‘to? I just let the Lord speak to me. my experiences of His faithfulness set as an instrument to bless others. And the sharing and flowing of God’s blessing didn’t stop there. The teacher in the house asked me to handle the Christian Education class in her second year high school class the following day. Haay. But its still the Lord’s work in my life. He held my mouth as I speak of His grace. He held my eyes as I viewed in His Word over and over again. Akala ko nga magpapahinga ako, at sobra sobra pa ang Kanyang ipinagkaloob. Its truly a joy to share who He is in my life and to inspire others of His goodness and faithfulness.

After that, I got gtky with Heather. She brought me to the Lomi house with a good ambience. Indeed it was a beautiful place. At dumagsa ang samu’t saring kwentuhan sa aming mga nakaraan. Kung saan-saang istorya at mga bagay-bagay.

I went back to LB after a long winding road again. Hay.

I am no new in an IVCF camp that I even memorized the schedule of the camp without looking into it. But this truth never hinders me to be proud of what I know.

I’m no expert. But I feel like a newbie. Refreshed and restored by the Lord every other camps for the last five years of LCDC experiences.

With such advances in years and experiences, He has allowed me to stretch my creativity and extend my hands to work and guide the younger ones who are steering the whole camp. Its my joy to see those young ones that I once led to small group or bible study workshops serving hand in hand with me. it’s a joy to see them imprint their own hands in touching others’ lives. And it’s a joy to see them continue on striving in the faith that they had.

its through His grace that I never got tired of knowing and relating with people, old and new. of handling small groups. Of teaching the same songs. Of facilitating bible study workshops. Of waking very early and sleeping very late. Of strictly observing camp rules and strict schedules. Of hearing the same concepts Of introducing my self and life. Of imparting a part of me. Of opening spaces in my heart to new lives in my life. Of savoring the love of Christ.

A seasoned counselor I might be and be able to foresee what problems might arise, or what things to look for yet the Lord always lead me to see my weaknesses and helplessness.

A seasoned counselor I might be yet I’m not immuned to the traps and downfalls of a counselor. I fail. My strength wavers. My joy is turned to sadness. My spirit is distressed. My heart is tested. My endurance is tried. With all of these, the Lord never fails me. His strength sustains. His joy never ceases. His Spirit restores. His heart fuels mine. His endurance keeps me going.

A seasoned LCDC camper and counselor I might be, but the Lord always let me see Him and experience Him in a new eye. With my soul refreshed. My spirit stilled. And heart filled with joy.

My dream role was granted.

Camp artist for a day. I was able to cherish that very moments that I can assume the task even for a single day. thinking and conceptualizing what to do for the banquet night backdrop kept me thinking over and over and over until I had finalized what to do. My little hands were used to fashion into the paper a service, a worship and a song. Transforming a little art into something magnificent. Its my joy to be used by the Creator and the Master Artist to form something. And a greater joy to extend the commendations to the hands that helped me, the smiles and words that encouraged me.

a sem just ended and another is about to bud. what have been had been. what have been said, heard, experienced, seen, perceived. all of these can’t be erased in my memory. all the who that i’ve met and journeyed with and even went away. all the wheres i’ve been, the whens that i cherished and even feared to remember. the hows that had been. the answered whys and those left unturned. i got a life long to process the essence of a semester where the Lord has led me, where i found my joy and burden together.til when will i be here?

the fears. the cries. the shoutings and groanings. the grief encountered. all be covered and be turned to laughter and joy, to the One who brings me great comfort and love and healing. to the One who’ll never fail me. to the One who knows me. its His Love that keeps me going. to Him i’ll continue on depending.