ki(t)hought’s

the thought of it doesn’t bring me so much ease.it has been a long time since i got a ‘true’ hold of it. i just can’t reveal any sign or way of showing how much of it has affected me. sleepless nights as i chose not to sleep.wearied my eyes and my body. but that thing seems so long ago. i’ve buried the possibility of it, i think.hope it helped but it didn’t. it had shown so much that i just can’t think of reasons to make necessary or equal responses, or do i need to make so. i just stopped and for some time, or as always, tried to escape and evade, to run from the thought.for something that grips me and some thought i just can’t shy away.i stopped glancing on it.ceased talking of it.halted on thinking about it, but it didn’t helped much.all the thoughts just came running back to me, i can help it but not forever.i’m mastering some tricks and i’m not sure til when the ‘magic’ will last. trying to ponder and reach my words so deep? you can try but can’t decipher what it really means.bothered you might be, but let it not so happen, i’m not to be thought of so much, words just can’t be contained inside me.they need to be let out, but not yours to understand, that is if i know such understanding.